CHAPTER XXII On the contemplation of human misery

Collage made by Mrs. Caswell decorating her hospital room in La Ronge. We wish you a Merry Christmas Season and a Blessed New Year.

Thou art miserable wheresoever thou art, and whithersoever thou

turnest, unless thou turn thee to God.  Why art thou disquieted

because it happeneth not to thee according to thy wishes and

desires?  Who is he that hath everything according to his will?

Neither I, nor thou, nor any man upon the earth.  There is no man

in the world free from trouble or anguish, though he were King or

Pope.  Who is he who hath the happiest lot?  Even he who is

strong to suffer somewhat for God.

2. There are many foolish and unstable men who say, "See what a

prosperous life that man hath, how rich and how great he is, how

powerful, how exalted."  But lift up thine eyes to the good

things of heaven, and thou shalt see that all these worldly

things are nothing, they are utterly uncertain, yea, they are

wearisome, because they are never possessed without care and

fear.  The happiness of man lieth not in the abundance of

temporal things but a moderate portion sufficeth him.  Our life

upon the earth is verily wretchedness.  The more a man desireth

to be spiritual, the more bitter doth the present life become to

him; because he the better understandeth and seeth the defects of

human corruption.  For to eat, to drink, to watch, to sleep, to

rest, to labour, and to be subject to the other necessities of

nature, is truly a great wretchedness and affliction to a devout

man, who would fain be released and free from all sin.

3. For the inner man is heavily burdened with the necessities of

the body in this world.  Wherefore the prophet devoutly prayeth

to be freed from them, saying, Deliver me from my necessities, O

Lord.(1)  But woe to those who know not their own misery, and yet

greater woe to those who love this miserable and corruptible

life.  For to such a degree do some cling to it (even though by

labouring or begging they scarce procure what is necessary for

subsistence) that if they might live here always, they would care

nothing for the Kingdom of God.

4. Oh foolish and faithless of heart, who lie buried so deep in

worldly things, that they relish nothing save the things of the

flesh!  Miserable ones!  they will too sadly find out at the

last, how vile and worthless was that which they loved.  The

saints of God and all loyal friends of Christ held as nothing the

things which pleased the flesh, or those which flourished in

this life, but their whole hope and affection aspired to the

things which are above.  Their whole desire was borne upwards to

everlasting and invisible things, lest they should be drawn

downwards by the love of things visible.

5. Lose not, brother, thy loyal desire of progress to things

spiritual.  There is yet time, the hour is not past.  Why wilt

thou put off thy resolution?  Arise, begin this very moment, and

say, "Now is the time to do: now is the time to fight, now is the

proper time for amendment."  When thou art ill at ease and

troubled, then is the time when thou art nearest unto blessing.

Thou must go through fire and water that God may bring thee into

a wealthy place.  Unless thou put force upon thyself, thou wilt

not conquer thy faults.  So long as we carry about with us this

frail body, we cannot be without sin, we cannot live without

weariness and trouble.  Gladly would we have rest from all

misery; but because through sin we have lost innocence, we have

lost also the true happiness.  Therefore must we be patient, and

wait for the mercy of God, until this tyranny be overpast,

and this mortality be swallowed up of life.

6. O how great is the frailty of man, which is ever prone to

evil!  To-day thou confessest thy sins, and to-morrow thou

committest again the sins thou didst confess.  Now dost thou

resolve to avoid a fault, and within an hour thou behavest

thyself as if thou hadst never resolved at all.  Good cause have

we therefore to humble ourselves, and never to think highly of

ourselves, seeing that we are so frail and unstable.  And quickly

may that be lost by our negligence, which by much labour was

hardly attained through grace.

7. What shall become of us at the end, if at the beginning we are

lukewarm and idle?  Woe unto us, if we choose to rest, as though

it were a time of peace and security, while as yet no sign

appeareth in our life of true holiness.  Rather had we need that

we might begin yet afresh, like good novices, to be instructed

unto good living, if haply there might be hope of some future

amendment and greater spiritual increase.

(1) Psalm xxv. 17.

CHAPTER XXI Of compunction of heart

      If thou wilt make any progress keep thyself in the fear of God,

and long not to be too free, but restrain all thy senses under

discipline and give not thyself up to senseless mirth.  Give

thyself to compunction of heart and thou shalt find devotion.

Compunction openeth the way for many good things, which

dissoluteness is wont quickly to lose.  It is wonderful that any

man can ever rejoice heartily in this life who considereth and

weigheth his banishment, and the manifold dangers which beset his

soul.

2. Through lightness of heart and neglect of our shortcomings we

feel not the sorrows of our soul, but often vainly laugh when we

have good cause to weep.  There is no true liberty nor real joy,

save in the fear of God with a good conscience.  Happy is he who

can cast away every cause of distraction and bring himself to the

one purpose of holy compunction.  Happy is he who putteth away

from him whatsoever may stain or burden his conscience.  Strive

manfully; custom is overcome by custom.  If thou knowest how to

let men alone, they will gladly let thee alone to do thine own

works.

3. Busy not thyself with the affairs of others, nor entangle

thyself with the business of great men.  Keep always thine eye

upon thyself first of all, and give advice to thyself specially

before all thy dearest friends.  If thou hast not the favour of

men, be not thereby cast down, but let thy concern be that thou

holdest not thyself so well and circumspectly, as becometh a

servant of God and a devout monk.  It is often better and safer

for a man not to have many comforts in this life, especially

those which concern the flesh.  But that we lack divine comforts

or feel them rarely is to our own blame, because we seek not

compunction of heart, nor utterly cast away those comforts which

are vain and worldly.

4. Know thyself to be unworthy of divine consolation, and worthy

rather of much tribulation.  When a man hath perfect compunction,

then all the world is burdensome and bitter to him.  A good man

will find sufficient cause for mourning and weeping; for whether

he considereth himself, or pondereth concerning his neighbour, he

knoweth that no man liveth here without tribulation, and the more

thoroughly he considereth himself, the more thoroughly he grieveth.

Grounds for just grief and inward compunction there are in our

sins and vices, wherein we lie so entangled that we are but

seldom able to contemplate heavenly things.

5. If thou thoughtest upon thy death more often than how long thy

life should be, thou wouldest doubtless strive more earnestly to

improve.  And if thou didst seriously consider the future pains

of hell, I believe thou wouldest willingly endure toil or pain

and fear not discipline.  But because these things reach not the

heart, and we still love pleasant things, therefore we remain

cold and miserably indifferent.

6. Oftentimes it is from poverty of spirit that the wretched body

is so easily led to complain.  Pray therefore humbly unto the

Lord that He will give thee the spirit of compunction and say in

the language of the prophet, Feed me, O Lord, with bread of

tears, and give me plenteousness of tears to drink.(1)

(1) Psalm lxxv. 5.

CHAPTER XX Of the love of solitude and silence

Seek a suitable time for thy meditation, and think frequently of

the mercies of God to thee.  Leave curious questions.  Study such

matters as bring thee sorrow for sin rather than amusement.  If

thou withdraw thyself from trifling conversation and idle goings

about, as well as from novelties and gossip, thou shalt find thy

time sufficient and apt for good meditation.  The greatest saints

used to avoid as far as they could the company of men, and chose

to live in secret with God.

2. One hath said, "As oft as I have gone among men, so oft have I

returned less a man."  This is what we often experience when we

have been long time in conversation.  For it is easier to be

altogether silent than it is not to exceed in word.  It is easier

to remain hidden at home than to keep sufficient guard upon

thyself out of doors.  He, therefore, that seeketh to reach that

which is hidden and spiritual, must go with Jesus "apart from the

multitude."  No man safely goeth abroad who loveth not to rest at

home.  No man safely talketh but he who loveth to hold his peace.

No man safely ruleth but he who loveth to be subject.  No man

safely commandeth but he who loveth to obey.

3. No man safely rejoiceth but he who hath the testimony of a

good conscience within himself.  The boldness of the Saints was

always full of the fear of God.  Nor were they the less earnest

and humble in themselves, because they shone forth with great

virtues and grace.  But the boldness of wicked men springeth from

pride and presumption, and at the last turneth to their own

confusion.  Never promise thyself security in this life,

howsoever good a monk or devout a solitary thou seemest.

4. Often those who stand highest in the esteem of men, fall the

more grievously because of their over great confidence.

Wherefore it is very profitable unto many that they should not be

without inward temptation, but should be frequently assaulted,

lest they be over confident, lest they be indeed lifted up into

pride, or else lean too freely upon the consolations of the

world.  O how good a conscience should that man keep, who never

sought a joy that passeth away, who never became entangled with

the world!  O how great peace and quiet should he possess, who

would cast off all vain care, and think only of healthful and

divine things, and build his whole hope upon God!

5. No man is worthy of heavenly consolation but he who hath

diligently exercised himself in holy compunction.  If thou wilt

feel compunction within thy heart, enter into thy chamber and

shut out the tumults of the world, as it is written, Commune with

your own heart in your own chamber and be still.(1)  In

retirement thou shalt find what often thou wilt lose abroad.

Retirement, if thou continue therein, groweth sweet, but if thou

keep not in it, begetteth weariness.  If in the beginning of thy

conversation thou dwell in it and keep it well, it shall

afterwards be to thee a dear friend, and a most pleasant solace.

6. In silence and quiet the devout soul goeth forward and

learneth the hidden things of the Scriptures.  Therein findeth

she a fountain of tears, wherein to wash and cleanse herself each

night, that she may grow the more dear to her Maker as she

dwelleth the further from all worldly distraction.  To him who

withdraweth himself from his acquaintance and friends God with

his holy angels will draw nigh.  It is better to be unknown and

take heed to oneself than to neglect oneself and work wonders.

It is praiseworthy for a religious man to go seldom abroad, to

fly from being seen, to have no desire to see men.

7. Why wouldest thou see what thou mayest not have?  The world

passeth away and the lust thereof.  The desires of sensuality

draw thee abroad, but when an hour is past, what dost thou bring

home, but a weight upon thy conscience and distraction of heart?

A merry going forth bringeth often a sorrowful return, and a

merry evening maketh a sad morning?  So doth all carnal joy

begin pleasantly, but in the end it gnaweth away and destroyeth.

What canst thou see abroad which thou seest not at home?  Behold

the heaven and the earth and the elements, for out of these are

all things made.

8. What canst thou see anywhere which can continue long under the

sun?  Thou believest perchance that thou shalt be satisfied, but

thou wilt never be able to attain unto this.  If thou shouldest

see all things before thee at once, what would it be but a vain

vision?  Lift up thine eyes to God on high, and pray that thy

sins and negligences may be forgiven.  Leave vain things to vain

men, and mind thou the things which God hath commanded thee.

Shut thy door upon thee, and call unto thyself Jesus thy beloved.

Remain with Him in thy chamber, for thou shalt not elsewhere find

so great peace.  If thou hadst not gone forth nor listened to

vain talk, thou hadst better kept thyself in good peace.  But

because it sometimes delighteth thee to hear new things, thou

must therefore suffer trouble of heart.

(1) Psalm iv. 4.

CHAPTER XIX Of the exercises of a religious man

"Our Lady of the North"by Sister Mary Judith Caswell

The life of a Christian ought to be adorned with all virtues,

that he may be inwardly what he outwardly appeareth unto men.

And verily it should be yet better within than without, for God

is a discerner of our heart, Whom we must reverence with all our

hearts wheresoever we are, and walk pure in His presence as do

the angels.  We ought daily to renew our vows, and to kindle our

hearts to zeal, as if each day were the first day of our

conversion, and to say, "Help me, O God, in my good resolutions,

and in Thy holy service, and grant that this day I may make a

good beginning, for hitherto I have done nothing!"

2. According to our resolution so is the rate of our progress,

and much diligence is needful for him who would make good

progress.  For if he who resolveth bravely oftentimes falleth

short, how shall it be with him who resolveth rarely or feebly?

But manifold causes bring about abandonment of our resolution,

yet a trivial omission of holy exercises can hardly be made

without some loss to us.  The resolution of the righteous

dependeth more upon the grace of God than upon their own wisdom;

for in Him they always put their trust, whatsoever they take in

hand.  For man proposeth, but God disposeth; and the way of a

man is not in himself.(1)

3. If a holy exercise be sometimes omitted for the sake of some

act of piety, or of some brotherly kindness, it can easily be

taken up afterwards; but if it be neglected through distaste or

slothfulness, then is it sinful, and the mischief will be felt.

Strive as earnestly as we may, we shall still fall short in many

things.  Always should some distinct resolution be made by us;

and, most of all, we must strive against those sins which most

easily beset us.  Both our outer and inner life should be

straitly examined and ruled by us, because both have to do with

our progress.

4. If thou canst not be always examining thyself, thou canst at

certain seasons, and at least twice in the day, at evening and at

morning.  In the morning make thy resolves, and in the evening

inquire into thy life, how thou hast sped to-day in word, deed,

and thought; for in these ways thou hast often perchance offended

God and thy neighbour.  Gird up thy lions like a man against the

assaults of the devil; bridle thine appetite, and thou wilt soon

be able to bridle every inclination of the flesh.  Be thou never

without something to do; be reading, or writing, or praying, or

meditating, or doing something that is useful to the community.

Bodily exercises, however, must be undertaken with discretion,

nor are they to be used by all alike.

5. The duties which are not common to all must not be done

openly, but are safest carried on in secret.  But take heed that

thou be not careless in the common duties, and more devout in the

secret; but faithfully and honestly discharge the duties and

commands which lie upon thee, then afterwards, if thou hast still

leisure, give thyself to thyself as thy devotion leadeth thee.

All cannot have one exercise, but one suiteth better to this man

and another to that.  Even for the diversity of season different

exercises are needed, some suit better for feasts, some for

fasts.  We need one kind in time of temptations and others in

time of peace and quietness. Some are suitable to our times of

sadness, and others when we are joyful in the Lord.

6. When we draw near the time of the great feasts, good exercises

should be renewed, and the prayers of holy men more fervently

besought.  We ought to make our resolutions from one Feast to

another, as if each were the period of our departure from this

world, and of entering into the eternal feast.  So ought we to

prepare ourselves earnestly at solemn seasons, and the more

solemnly to live, and to keep straightest watch upon each holy

observance, as though we were soon to receive the reward of our

labours at the hand of God.

7. And if this be deferred, let us believe ourselves to be as yet

ill-prepared, and unworthy as yet of the glory which shall be

revealed in us at the appointed season; and let us study to

prepare ourselves the better for our end.  Blessed is that

servant, as the Evangelist Luke hath it, whom, when the Lord

cometh He shall find watching.  Verily I say unto you He will

make him ruler over all that He hath.(2)

(1) Jeremiah x. 23.   (2) Luke xii. 43, 44.

CHAPTER XVIII Of the example of the Holy Fathers

The tallest sunflower and the only one producing seeds was the one growing beneath the painting of Mary and Jesus.

 Consider now the lively examples of the holy fathers, in whom

shone forth real perfectness and religion, and thou shalt see how

little, even as nothing, is all that we do.  Ah! What is our life

when compared to theirs?  They, saints and friends of Christ as

they were, served the Lord in hunger and thirst, in cold and

nakedness, in labour and weariness, in watchings and fastings, in

prayer and holy meditations, in persecutions and much rebuke.

2. O how many and grievous tribulations did the Apostles,

Martyrs, Confessors, Virgins, endure; and all others who would

walk in the footsteps of Christ. For they hated their souls in

this world that they might keep them unto life eternal.  O how

strict and retired a life was that of the holy fathers who dwelt

in the desert!  what long and grievous temptations they did

suffer!  how often were they assaulted by the enemy!  what

frequent and fervid prayers did they offer unto God!  what strict

fasts did they endure!  what fervent zeal and desire after

spiritual profit did they manifest!  how bravely did they fight

that their vices might not gain the mastery!  how entirely and

steadfastly did they reach after God!  By day they laboured, and

at night they gave themselves ofttimes unto prayer; yea, even

when they were labouring they ceased not from mental prayer.

3. They spent their whole time profitably; every hour seemed

short for retirement with God; and through the great sweetness of

contemplation, even the need of bodily refreshment was forgotten.

They renounced all riches, dignities, honours, friends, kinsmen;

they desired nothing from the world; they ate the bare

necessaries of life; they were unwilling to minister to the body

even in necessity.  Thus were they poor in earthly things, but

rich above measure in grace and virtue.  Though poor to the outer

eye, within they were filled with grace and heavenly

benedictions.

4. They were strangers to the world, but unto God they were as

kinsmen and friends.  They seemed unto themselves as of no

reputation, and in the world's eyes contemptible; but in the

sight of God they were precious and beloved.  They stood fast in

true humility, they lived in simple obedience, they walked in

love and patience; and thus they waxed strong in spirit, and

obtained great favour before God.  To all religious men they were

given as an example, and they ought more to provoke us unto good

livings than the number of the lukewarm tempteth to

carelessness of life.

5. O how great was the love of all religious persons at the

beginning of this sacred institution!  O what devoutness of

prayer!  what rivalry in holiness!  what strict discipline was

observed!  what reverence and obedience under the rule of the

master showed they in all things!  The traces of them that remain

until now testify that they were truly holy and perfect men, who

fighting so bravely trod the world underfoot.  Now a man is

counted great if only he be not a transgressor, and if he can

only endure with patience what he hath undertaken.

6. O the coldness and negligence of our times, that we so quickly

decline from the former love, and it is become a weariness to

live, because of sloth and lukewarmness.  May progress in

holiness not wholly fall asleep in thee, who many times hast seen

so many examples of devout men!

CHAPTER XVII Of a religious life

It behoveth thee to learn to mortify thyself in many things, if
thou wilt live in amity and concord with other men. It is no
small thing to dwell in a religious community or congregation,
and to live there without complaint, and therein to remain
faithful even unto death. Blessed is he who hath lived a good
life in such a body, and brought it to a happy end. If thou wilt
stand fast and wilt profit as thou oughtest, hold thyself as an
exile and a pilgrim upon the earth. Thou wilt have to be counted
as a fool for Christ, if thou wilt lead a religious life.

2. The clothing and outward appearance are of small account; it
is change of character and entire mortification of the affections
which make a truly religious man. He who seeketh aught save God
and the health of his soul, shall find only tribulation and
sorrow. Nor can he stand long in peace, who striveth not to be
least of all and servant of all.

3. Thou art called to endure and to labour, not to a life of ease
and trifling talk. Here therefore are men tried as gold in the
furnace. No man can stand, unless with all his heart he will
humble himself for God's sake.